Since we now have an idea of how to start to word your wedding invitation, which depends on who is hosting or paying for the event, let’s discuss the writing of the bride and groom’s names on it.

The old established rules for displaying the happy couples’ names have relaxed tremendously. If you peeked into a stationery etiquette book back in the “old days”, it would tell you that both the bride and grooms’ names should be spelled out completely, i.e. Regina Patrice Billingsham and Horace Walter Partridgerton, III! But, wait a minute. What if your fiance is known to everyone as “Harry”, and absolutely NO ONE but you, his parents, and siblings know that he was named Horace at birth? And suppose everyone knows you as Regina Billingsham, because you HATE your middle name, and you’ve NEVER included it, or even the letter “P”, in any form that you’ve completed? What will you do?

Both of these name difficulties are easily solved. You DEFINITELY don’t want to send the invitation using your full names, without some clarifying information, if no one will recognize them!

So, think about the formality of your wedding. If it’s a very informal backyard BBQ wedding, you can say “Regina and Harry are getting married” and be fine. But if it’s more formal, modern etiquette sticklers will be happy if you use “Regina Billingsham and Harry Partridge III” as your formal names. Before you start doing a happy dance, here’s a word of caution. If you are not hosting (aka, paying for the wedding), check with those who will write the check, to solicit their input, before you make that final decision about your names, and send your invitations to print. They may want you to use all of your given names, Regina Patrice Billingsham and Horace “Harry” Walter Partridgerton III.

If you and your fiance are paying the bills for the event, and one or both of you ABSOLUTELY HATE your given first or middle names, do the simple thing, don’t use them. These days, no one will have a fit and you will be all the more happy for the decision.

What are your thoughts?

Lynne